[00:00.57]Your questions have a point.
[00:02.66]You're really asking, "What sort of person are you?" and to find out, you have to really listen.
[00:10.15]There are at least three components of real listening.
[00:14.75]For one thing, real listening means not changing the subject.
[00:19.88]If someone sticks to the topic, you can assume that he or she is really interested in it.
[00:27.57]Another component of real listening is listening not to just words but to tones of voice.
[00:34.87]I once mentioned D.H. Lawrence to a friend.
[00:39.15]To my astonishment, she launched into an academic discussion of the imagery in Lawrence's works.
[00:47.13]Midway through, I listened to her voice.
[00:51.16]It was, to put it mildly, unanimated, and it seemed obvious that the imagery monologue
[00:58.72]was intended solely for my benefit, and I quickly changed the subject.

Your questions have a point.
You're really asking, "What sort of person are you?" and to find out, you have to really listen.
There are at least three components of real listening.
For one thing, real listening means not changing the subject.
If someone sticks to the topic, you can assume that he or she is really interested in it.
Another component of real listening is listening not to just words but to tones of voice.
I once mentioned D.H. Lawrence to a friend.
To my astonishment, she launched into an academic discussion of the imagery in Lawrence's works.
Midway through, I listened to her voice.
It was, to put it mildly, unanimated, and it seemed obvious that the imagery monologue
was intended solely for my benefit, and I quickly changed the subject.