[00:19.40]Sit back now
[00:20.61]Let me tell you a tale
[00:22.00]Where justice does not prevail
[00:24.42]About an ill fated life
[00:25.95]So very full of strife
[00:27.77]Where two wrongs do not make a right
[00:29.98]So
[00:31.31][Verse 1]
[00:31.41]When I was born
[00:32.54]I did surely scorn
[00:33.75]My proud parents' name
[00:35.18]Then their lives went down the drain
[00:36.41]Drove them insane
[00:37.90]My birth was a curse
[00:39.21]I bit the nurse
[00:40.17]Oh, but I love the worst
[00:41.44]I deserve to be slowly submersed
[00:44.62]Dried out then laid in a hearse
[00:47.68][Verse 2]
[00:47.78]When I was two
[00:49.08]I poured super glue
[00:50.46]Into my father's hair
[00:52.06]As he sat unaware
[00:53.53]In his arm chair
[00:54.30]Much to his dismay
[00:55.19]Had to cut it all away
[00:56.53]Oh, but it felt great
[00:58.21]I deserve to be cut and filleted
[01:01.22]Then tossed about in disarray
[01:03.67]Until the pieces melt away
[01:05.50][Chorus]
[01:05.60]I am not a bad man
[01:07.11]Even though I do bad things
[01:08.48]Very bad things
[01:09.72]Such horrible things
[01:11.19]Oh, but it's not quite what it seems
[01:12.95](Not quite what he seems)
[01:13.92]Not quite what I seem
[01:16.28]Ah, hell
[01:17.53]It's exactly what it seems
[01:21.35][Verse 3]
[01:21.45]When I was four
[01:22.84]I'd wait by the door
[01:24.20]With a knife in my hand
[01:25.34]And a most devious plan
[01:26.91]It would be quite grand
[01:28.8]As the mail fell through the slot
[01:29.44]The sharp edge he got
[01:30.34]Oh but I love the thought
[01:31.70]I deserve to be tied in a knot
[01:35.30]Broken bones and blood clots
[01:39.01][Verse 4]
[01:39.11]When I was six
[01:40.36]I used to trick
[01:41.68]The next door neighbor's son
[01:42.74]In the woods we would run
[01:43.53]Time for fun
[01:44.46]Hide and seek has a cost
[01:45.46]He would be forever lost
[01:47.65]Oh, but I love to scoff
[01:49.58]I deserve to have my head lopped off
[01:53.0]Hidden and covered in moss
[01:55.3]Until this memory is forgot
[01:56.69][Chorus]
[01:56.89]I am not a bad man
[01:58.38]even though I do bad things
[02:00.27]Very bad things
[02:01.0]Such horrible things
[02:02.57]Oh but it's not quite what it seems
[02:04.20](Not quite what he seems)
[02:05.17]Not quite what I seem
[02:07.42]Ah, hell
[02:08.96]It's exactly what it seems
[02:12.68][Verse 5]
[02:12.78]When I was eight
[02:14.18]I used to hate
[02:15.50]The color of my house
[02:16.98]So as quiet as a mouse
[02:17.32]I burned it down to the ground
[02:19.45]When no one was around
[02:20.84]Oh, but I love the sound
[02:22.31]I deserve to be quickly put down
[02:25.69]Rotting six feet underground
[02:29.37][Verse 6]
[02:29.47]When I was ten
[02:30.79]I used to pretend
[02:32.13]To drown in the sea
[02:33.50]Till they'd come to rescue me
[02:34.87]Then proceed to laugh in their face
[02:37.54]Such a disgrace
[02:39.0]Oh, but I love the taste
[02:40.54]I deserve to have my brains displaced
[02:43.63]All over the fireplace
[02:45.53]Until this life has been erased
[02:47.55][Chorus]
[02:47.65]I am not a bad man
[02:49.19]Even though I do bad things
[02:50.69]Very bad things
[02:51.54]Such horrible things
[02:53.17]Oh, but it's not quite what it seems
[02:54.90](Not quite what he seems)
[02:55.85]Not quite what I seem
[02:57.0]Ah, hell
[02:58.66]It's exactly what it seems
[03:02.8][Verse 7]
[03:02.9]When I was twelve
[03:03.99]I used to delve
[03:05.00]Into evil schemes
[03:06.57]Just to elicit screams
[03:08.29]Boost my self esteem
[03:09.05]Pushed my sister down a well
[03:10.36]She just fell
[03:11.5]Oh but I loved to dwell
[03:12.68]I deserve to roast deep down in hell
[03:15.95]Where no one can hear me yell
[03:20.76]When I was fourteen
[03:23.87]nothing much happened
[03:25.62]Well
[03:26.64]hee hee
[03:27.30]there was that one time
[03:28.90][Instrumental]
[04:20.76][Chorus]
[04:20.86]I am not a bad man
[04:21.87]Even though I do bad things
[04:22.96]Very bad things
[04:23.95]Such horrible things
[04:25.9]Oh, but it's not quite what it seems
[04:26.79](Not quite what he seems)
[04:27.86]Not quite what I seem
[04:29.83]Ah, hell
[04:31.16]It's exactly what it seems
[04:35.43][Verse 8]
[04:35.53]When I was sixteen
[04:36.81]Life was frightening
[04:38.71]My brother was quite dull
[04:40.10]So with laughter in my skull
[04:41.4]Pushed him in a hole
[04:42.1]Then buried him alive
[04:43.83]He barely survived
[04:45.1]Oh, but I love the cries
[04:46.38]I deserved to be battered and fried
[04:49.84]With an electric chair that's set on high
[04:53.70][Verse 9]
[04:53.80]Now that I'm eighteen
[04:54.93]I still hate things
[04:55.92]In this padded cell I call my home
[04:58.30]No friends, no phone
[04:59.80]No life to call my own
[05:02.80]Here I will lie
[05:04.00]Until the very day I die
[05:06.00]Until my blood begins to dry
[05:08.10]And I return to the darkness from whence I came
[05:15.87]So
[05:16.79][Chorus]
[05:16.89]I am not a bad man
[05:18.65]Even though I do bad things
[05:21.35]Very bad things
[05:22.25]Such horrible things
[05:23.92]But it鈥檚 not quite what it seems
[05:27.90]Not quite what I seem
[05:30.29]Ah, hell
[05:32.10]I'm exactly what I seem

Sit back now
Let me tell you a tale
Where justice does not prevail
About an ill fated life
So very full of strife
Where two wrongs do not make a right
So
When I was born
I did surely scorn
My proud parents' name
Then their lives went down the drain
Drove them insane
My birth was a curse
I bit the nurse
Oh, but I love the worst
I deserve to be slowly submersed
Dried out then laid in a hearse
When I was two
I poured super glue
Into my father's hair
As he sat unaware
In his arm chair
Much to his dismay
Had to cut it all away
Oh, but it felt great
I deserve to be cut and filleted
Then tossed about in disarray
Until the pieces melt away
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
Oh, but it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem
Ah, hell
It's exactly what it seems
When I was four
I'd wait by the door
With a knife in my hand
And a most devious plan
It would be quite grand
As the mail fell through the slot
The sharp edge he got
Oh but I love the thought
I deserve to be tied in a knot
Broken bones and blood clots
When I was six
I used to trick
The next door neighbor's son
In the woods we would run
Time for fun
Hide and seek has a cost
He would be forever lost
Oh, but I love to scoff
I deserve to have my head lopped off
Hidden and covered in moss
Until this memory is forgot
I am not a bad man
even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
Oh but it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem
Ah, hell
It's exactly what it seems
When I was eight
I used to hate
The color of my house
So as quiet as a mouse
I burned it down to the ground
When no one was around
Oh, but I love the sound
I deserve to be quickly put down
Rotting six feet underground
When I was ten
I used to pretend
To drown in the sea
Till they'd come to rescue me
Then proceed to laugh in their face
Such a disgrace
Oh, but I love the taste
I deserve to have my brains displaced
All over the fireplace
Until this life has been erased
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
Oh, but it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem
Ah, hell
It's exactly what it seems
When I was twelve
I used to delve
Into evil schemes
Just to elicit screams
Boost my self esteem
Pushed my sister down a well
She just fell
Oh but I loved to dwell
I deserve to roast deep down in hell
Where no one can hear me yell
When I was fourteen
nothing much happened
Well
hee hee
there was that one time

I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
Oh, but it's not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem
Ah, hell
It's exactly what it seems
When I was sixteen
Life was frightening
My brother was quite dull
So with laughter in my skull
Pushed him in a hole
Then buried him alive
He barely survived
Oh, but I love the cries
I deserved to be battered and fried
With an electric chair that's set on high
Now that I'm eighteen
I still hate things
In this padded cell I call my home
No friends, no phone
No life to call my own
Here I will lie
Until the very day I die
Until my blood begins to dry
And I return to the darkness from whence I came
So
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such horrible things
But it鈥檚 not quite what it seems
Not quite what I seem
Ah, hell
I'm exactly what I seem