[00:00.000] 作词 : Louis C.K.
[00:00.851] 作曲 : Louis C.K.
[00:01.703]I was in upstate New York in a small town,
[00:05.626]and I was standing in front of a drugstore.
[00:06.422]And in the window of the drugstore, they had a wheelchair on display in the window.
[00:12.265]Is that really an impulse purchase?
[00:15.718]“Hmm… I should get a wheelchair.
[00:23.953]That would really help with my paralysis.
[00:30.328]Then I wouldn’t have to drag myself everywhere I go like I’ve been doing for 10 years
[00:41.484]since my legs were blown off at the marathon.”
[00:46.796][Scattered laughter and groans]
[00:51.312]Okay. Okay.
[01:01.405]Bunch of ****in’ hypocrites, apparently,
[01:04.328]because let me point somethin’ out to you. Let me point somethin’ out to you mother****ers.
[01:09.375]You are just, like, seconds ago, laughing at a man with no legs crawling on the ground. You’re just — [Imitates laughter]
[01:19.735]And then at the end, you’re like, “Oh, but not those particular legless people.
[01:25.312]No! We thought you meant just some asshole with a childhood disease who deserves to be laughed at.
[01:36.204]Not one of those.”
[01:38.860]No, we’re laughing at all legless people equally.
[01:43.906]However you lost your legs:
[01:47.359]Ha-ha-ha, you haven’t legs. And we’ve legs.
[01:59.312]I have legs — I have two legs. Two ****ing legs — that’s the maximum amount.
[02:08.610]****in’ love having two legs. I ****ing love it.
[02:13.390]I wouldn’t like having no legs. I really don’t think I would like it.
[02:16.578]I think it would suck. I think would suck shit out of the balls of Christ.
[02:20.563]It’s an old Southern expression, it’s not….
[02:25.875]Used like it used to be.
[02:28.265]I think two legs is better than none. That’s what I think.
[02:33.046]That’s just my opinion.
[02:34.640]It’s not popular. You’re not supposed to say that because you’re supposed to always be very positive about disabled people.
[02:41.015]But I think that puts pressure on them to be positive.
[02:43.672]What if they don’t want to be?
[02:45.000]Because the only story we want to hear is about the amazing disabled people — “He’s amazing.”
[02:49.249]“He lost his legs, then he won the leg having contest.”
[02:53.500]What about disabled people who aren’t amazing,
[02:57.218]who are just ordinary with a sweatshirt and some potato chips, and he’s going, “****, I wish I had legs.”
[03:01.735]“No! No, this is better! It’s better with no legs.”
[03:05.718]“Why is it better?”
[03:07.046]Because you can do anything now.
[03:07.843]I can do four things. **** off.
[03:09.969]I just don’t know that our positive non-disabled attitude really helps.
[03:16.874]Like retarded people — let’s — we’re gonna talk about retarded people for 20 minutes. Just —
[03:23.249]that’s what’s gonna happen.
[03:24.844]We’re going to discuss retarded people for 20 minutes.
[03:29.093]It’s not okay to not — never speak of them. No, we’re gonna talk about them.
[03:34.671]First of all, I want — mostly I wanna talk about the word “retarded.”
[03:38.656]Okay? Because the word retarded, it’s a bad word and people do not like the word retarded, they find it very offensive.
[03:44.766]Now, I’m a little confused by this because it wasn’t always a bad word.
[03:47.953]And I grew up in the ’70s and it wasn’t bad back then.
[03:50.343]And you most bad words were always bad, you know.
[03:53.266]“Cunt” never had a day in the sun. There was never a…
[03:55.390]a time where the Santa Clause of the mall was like, “C’mere, you little cunt. Tell me what you want for Christmas.”
[04:01.765]And then in the ’90s, we’re like, “Let’s lay off of ‘cunt’ a little bit there, gang.”
[04:09.204]No, the word — we used the word retarded in the ’70s,
[04:14.781]we used it to identify people who were retarded.
[04:18.766][Laughter]
[04:21.156]It wasn’t controversial, it wasn’t like — [Whispering] “He’s retarded.” It was like, “He is retarded.”
[04:34.311]This fellow right here is retarded, right? I told you, yes, you’re still retarded. He is retarded, everyone.
[04:40.420]And I grew up in Boston. We didn’t say “retarded” in Boston. [Non-rhotic] We said “re-tah-ded.”
[04:47.593]“He’s re-tah-ded.” “God bless him, he’s ****in’ re-tah-ded.”
[04:53.171][Laughter]
[04:57.156]That’s the way we used it!
[04:58.218]With love: help the retarded. That’s what people said in the ’70s.
[05:02.999]“Help the retarded.” There was a lady outside the supermarket near my house every Christmas with a bell, she was like,
[05:08.577]“Help the retarded!
[05:10.170]Help the ****ing retarded!”
[05:13.623]You gonna tell me she was a bad person?
[05:18.139]She was helpin’ the retarded.
[05:21.061]And I feel like we had more of them around back then. I haven’t seen one in years.
[05:27.437]In the ’70s, there was a retarded guy in a windbreaker on every street corner.
[05:31.686]They — we were using the word and they were more in our lives. I swear to God, they were more.
[05:40.451]They were in our culture. There was TV movies about retarded people all the time.
[05:45.233]“Tonight on ABC, ‘A Retarded Boy’s Dream’.”
[05:48.154]There was one I remember with Shaun Cassidy, I don’t know if you remember Shaun Cassidy,
[05:53.467]some of you are too young,
[05:54.796]but Shaun Cassidy, he began his career as a teen pop idol.
[05:57.982]He was a 13 year old boy with a very hit song called “Da Doo Ron Ron.”
[06:03.296]And he had feathered blond hair and juicy lips.
[06:06.749]He was on the cover of Teen Beat magazine, like…
[06:12.858]And everybody likes Shaun Cassidy ’cause he was sexy.
[06:14.718]Was a sexy boy. I thought he was sexy. I —
[06:18.170]I thought he was really sexy. I was six years old,
[06:20.827]but I already had inappropriate sex feelings for teenage boys when I was six.
[06:26.671]I was an old soul. I was —
[06:29.859][Laughter]
[06:30.654]I was a pedophile when I was six.
[06:35.170]I used to go up to teenage boys when I was six, I was like, “Hey, how’s it going?”
[06:40.483]That kid’s weird, he’s got a boner.
[06:44.733]Anyway..
[06:47.921]Not anymore, I outgrew it, but, uh…
[06:53.233]No. I’m not — I’m not sexually attracted to teenage boys.
[06:59.077]I’m not. I’m not.
[07:01.202]But I don’t not get it. I mean, I —
[07:04.655]I get it. I’m not like, “What?!” Like…
[07:13.571]You can see it.
[07:16.165]Like, I was in an airport once and I’m walking along where people walk in the airport, and there was these chairs facing the aisle,
[07:22.274]and there is this family sitting there, a mom and a dad and two teenage boys.
[07:28.742]And they’re, like, just both sitting with their phones with their legs — they were wearing, like, these shorts — one had cutoff shorts and one had basketball shorts.
[07:34.055]And they both just had their legs open ’cause they don’t give a ****,
[07:36.443]both legs just splayed. And then just this — just smooth. You know, just very…
[07:42.554]And I saw it.
[07:47.866]Didn’t give me a — didn’t do anything to me,
[07:50.257]but I kind of wanted to stop and go, “Hey, fellows,
[07:52.913]let’s — let’s close that shit up, huh?
[07:55.303]You’re not getting me, but I know you’re causing a problem for somebody in this airport.
[07:59.820]Let’s close it up.”
[08:02.476]I did not say that… Otherwise I wouldn’t be here.
[08:09.381]Anyway, let’s return to the comfortable subject of retarded people, shall we?
[08:18.413][Laughter]
[08:21.335]So Shaun Cassidy:
[08:24.788]Shaun Cassidy was a teen singer who then grew up — he was about 18 — he was, you know, old and gross. nobody wanted to **** him.
[08:32.163]So he started to act, and he had a movie on TV called “Normal People,” where he played a retarded man who wants to live a normal life — it was very inspiring, actually.
[08:42.522]And at one point he goes to — he didn’t do, like, a big retarded character. He wore thick glasses, he talked like Elmer Fudd. That was the whole thing.
[08:48.899]So he goes up to the guy who runs the group home he lives in and he says, “I want to get a job.”
[08:54.210]And the guys who runs it is like, you know, Republican, conservative. So he’s like, “You can get a job, you’re retarded!”You know.
[09:02.445]But — but then there’s a liberal lady who works there and she says, “Of course he can get a job.
[09:12.007]He’s as good as anyone!”
[09:15.461]So they let him get a job as an air traffic controller or whatever was available.
[09:21.835]And then…
[09:25.023]He meets a woman who’s also retarded, who lives at the group home. He falls in love with her.
[09:31.664]It’s a very nice love story. And he says, “We want to get married.”
[09:34.320]And the guy says, “Brr!” She says, “But they’re in love!”
[09:39.367]So they get married. And then one day he says,
[09:43.086]“We want to have a baby.” And the liberal lady says, “No ****ing way.”
[09:47.867]And they just shut them down right there.
[09:52.382]And that’s the end of the movie.
[09:55.039]I swear to God, that’s just how it ends.
[09:58.492]And the point of the movie is just, you know, hey, there’s a limit — like, that’s, I guess, what the point of it was.
[10:04.335]And that’s pretty intense.
[10:08.320]But, hey, retarded people were on television, we were talking about it, we were dealing with it —
[10:13.366]and they said the word retarded about 50,000 times in the movie.
[10:17.284]Now, we don’t say the word and I don’t see ’em anywhere. I guess that’s my problem with it. And also, the word is not basically a bad word. It’s a medical term,
[10:25.252]but it became a bad word because it’s used as an insult, really —
[10:30.565]not towards retarded people. Nobody does that.
[10:33.221]Nobody calls retarded people retarded to insult them. What would be the point of that?
[10:38.534]That would be like going up to a chair and saying,
[10:41.987]“You’re ****in chair!” Like, what are you doing?
[10:45.175]No. People use it on their friends, like, you’re at a bar, your friend’s like,
[10:51.549]“I don’t have any more money for beer,” and you’re like,
[10:54.206]“You’re ****ing retarded, you know that?”
[10:56.332]And in that moment, no one retarded is insulted.
[11:00.847]They’re not. Do you know why? Because they’re not there!
[11:03.768]‘Cause we don’t include them in our lives.
[11:08.018]They’re not at the bar — How many of you have a retarded drinking buddy that you hang out with?
[11:13.066]No, you take ’em to the zoo when they’re little him and then **** ’em.
[11:21.241]This is what I find confusing about this thing, is that we told many generations of people that they are retarded.
[11:31.477]We told them that that’s what they are and they lived with it, and they dealt with it, and then we just decided it’s a bad word. So did we tell them this?
[11:37.321]Did we go back to them and explain this to them? “Listen, Nelson, I have somethin’ to tell you,
[11:42.899]you’re not retarded anymore.”
[11:46.884]“You mean I’m cured?”
[11:48.211][Laughing]
[11:50.071]“No! No, no. Nah, we’re not even working on it.

作词 : Louis C.K.
作曲 : Louis C.K.
I was in upstate New York in a small town,
and I was standing in front of a drugstore.
And in the window of the drugstore, they had a wheelchair on display in the window.
Is that really an impulse purchase?
“Hmm… I should get a wheelchair.
That would really help with my paralysis.
Then I wouldn’t have to drag myself everywhere I go like I’ve been doing for 10 years
since my legs were blown off at the marathon.”
Okay. Okay.
Bunch of ****in’ hypocrites, apparently,
because let me point somethin’ out to you. Let me point somethin’ out to you mother****ers.
You are just, like, seconds ago, laughing at a man with no legs crawling on the ground. You’re just —
And then at the end, you’re like, “Oh, but not those particular legless people.
No! We thought you meant just some asshole with a childhood disease who deserves to be laughed at.
Not one of those.”
No, we’re laughing at all legless people equally.
However you lost your legs:
Ha-ha-ha, you haven’t legs. And we’ve legs.
I have legs — I have two legs. Two ****ing legs — that’s the maximum amount.
****in’ love having two legs. I ****ing love it.
I wouldn’t like having no legs. I really don’t think I would like it.
I think it would suck. I think would suck shit out of the balls of Christ.
It’s an old Southern expression, it’s not….
Used like it used to be.
I think two legs is better than none. That’s what I think.
That’s just my opinion.
It’s not popular. You’re not supposed to say that because you’re supposed to always be very positive about disabled people.
But I think that puts pressure on them to be positive.
What if they don’t want to be?
Because the only story we want to hear is about the amazing disabled people — “He’s amazing.”
“He lost his legs, then he won the leg having contest.”
What about disabled people who aren’t amazing,
who are just ordinary with a sweatshirt and some potato chips, and he’s going, “****, I wish I had legs.”
“No! No, this is better! It’s better with no legs.”
“Why is it better?”
Because you can do anything now.
I can do four things. **** off.
I just don’t know that our positive non-disabled attitude really helps.
Like retarded people — let’s — we’re gonna talk about retarded people for 20 minutes. Just —
that’s what’s gonna happen.
We’re going to discuss retarded people for 20 minutes.
It’s not okay to not — never speak of them. No, we’re gonna talk about them.
First of all, I want — mostly I wanna talk about the word “retarded.”
Okay? Because the word retarded, it’s a bad word and people do not like the word retarded, they find it very offensive.
Now, I’m a little confused by this because it wasn’t always a bad word.
And I grew up in the ’70s and it wasn’t bad back then.
And you most bad words were always bad, you know.
“Cunt” never had a day in the sun. There was never a…
a time where the Santa Clause of the mall was like, “C’mere, you little cunt. Tell me what you want for Christmas.”
And then in the ’90s, we’re like, “Let’s lay off of ‘cunt’ a little bit there, gang.”
No, the word — we used the word retarded in the ’70s,
we used it to identify people who were retarded.
It wasn’t controversial, it wasn’t like — “He’s retarded.” It was like, “He is retarded.”
This fellow right here is retarded, right? I told you, yes, you’re still retarded. He is retarded, everyone.
And I grew up in Boston. We didn’t say “retarded” in Boston. We said “re-tah-ded.”
“He’s re-tah-ded.” “God bless him, he’s ****in’ re-tah-ded.”
That’s the way we used it!
With love: help the retarded. That’s what people said in the ’70s.
“Help the retarded.” There was a lady outside the supermarket near my house every Christmas with a bell, she was like,
“Help the retarded!
Help the ****ing retarded!”
You gonna tell me she was a bad person?
She was helpin’ the retarded.
And I feel like we had more of them around back then. I haven’t seen one in years.
In the ’70s, there was a retarded guy in a windbreaker on every street corner.
They — we were using the word and they were more in our lives. I swear to God, they were more.
They were in our culture. There was TV movies about retarded people all the time.
“Tonight on ABC, ‘A Retarded Boy’s Dream’.”
There was one I remember with Shaun Cassidy, I don’t know if you remember Shaun Cassidy,
some of you are too young,
but Shaun Cassidy, he began his career as a teen pop idol.
He was a 13 year old boy with a very hit song called “Da Doo Ron Ron.”
And he had feathered blond hair and juicy lips.
He was on the cover of Teen Beat magazine, like…
And everybody likes Shaun Cassidy ’cause he was sexy.
Was a sexy boy. I thought he was sexy. I —
I thought he was really sexy. I was six years old,
but I already had inappropriate sex feelings for teenage boys when I was six.
I was an old soul. I was —
I was a pedophile when I was six.
I used to go up to teenage boys when I was six, I was like, “Hey, how’s it going?”
That kid’s weird, he’s got a boner.
Anyway..
Not anymore, I outgrew it, but, uh…
No. I’m not — I’m not sexually attracted to teenage boys.
I’m not. I’m not.
But I don’t not get it. I mean, I —
I get it. I’m not like, “What?!” Like…
You can see it.
Like, I was in an airport once and I’m walking along where people walk in the airport, and there was these chairs facing the aisle,
and there is this family sitting there, a mom and a dad and two teenage boys.
And they’re, like, just both sitting with their phones with their legs — they were wearing, like, these shorts — one had cutoff shorts and one had basketball shorts.
And they both just had their legs open ’cause they don’t give a ****,
both legs just splayed. And then just this — just smooth. You know, just very…
And I saw it.
Didn’t give me a — didn’t do anything to me,
but I kind of wanted to stop and go, “Hey, fellows,
let’s — let’s close that shit up, huh?
You’re not getting me, but I know you’re causing a problem for somebody in this airport.
Let’s close it up.”
I did not say that… Otherwise I wouldn’t be here.
Anyway, let’s return to the comfortable subject of retarded people, shall we?
So Shaun Cassidy:
Shaun Cassidy was a teen singer who then grew up — he was about 18 — he was, you know, old and gross. nobody wanted to **** him.
So he started to act, and he had a movie on TV called “Normal People,” where he played a retarded man who wants to live a normal life — it was very inspiring, actually.
And at one point he goes to — he didn’t do, like, a big retarded character. He wore thick glasses, he talked like Elmer Fudd. That was the whole thing.
So he goes up to the guy who runs the group home he lives in and he says, “I want to get a job.”
And the guys who runs it is like, you know, Republican, conservative. So he’s like, “You can get a job, you’re retarded!”You know.
But — but then there’s a liberal lady who works there and she says, “Of course he can get a job.
He’s as good as anyone!”
So they let him get a job as an air traffic controller or whatever was available.
And then…
He meets a woman who’s also retarded, who lives at the group home. He falls in love with her.
It’s a very nice love story. And he says, “We want to get married.”
And the guy says, “Brr!” She says, “But they’re in love!”
So they get married. And then one day he says,
“We want to have a baby.” And the liberal lady says, “No ****ing way.”
And they just shut them down right there.
And that’s the end of the movie.
I swear to God, that’s just how it ends.
And the point of the movie is just, you know, hey, there’s a limit — like, that’s, I guess, what the point of it was.
And that’s pretty intense.
But, hey, retarded people were on television, we were talking about it, we were dealing with it —
and they said the word retarded about 50,000 times in the movie.
Now, we don’t say the word and I don’t see ’em anywhere. I guess that’s my problem with it. And also, the word is not basically a bad word. It’s a medical term,
but it became a bad word because it’s used as an insult, really —
not towards retarded people. Nobody does that.
Nobody calls retarded people retarded to insult them. What would be the point of that?
That would be like going up to a chair and saying,
“You’re ****in chair!” Like, what are you doing?
No. People use it on their friends, like, you’re at a bar, your friend’s like,
“I don’t have any more money for beer,” and you’re like,
“You’re ****ing retarded, you know that?”
And in that moment, no one retarded is insulted.
They’re not. Do you know why? Because they’re not there!
‘Cause we don’t include them in our lives.
They’re not at the bar — How many of you have a retarded drinking buddy that you hang out with?
No, you take ’em to the zoo when they’re little him and then **** ’em.
This is what I find confusing about this thing, is that we told many generations of people that they are retarded.
We told them that that’s what they are and they lived with it, and they dealt with it, and then we just decided it’s a bad word. So did we tell them this?
Did we go back to them and explain this to them? “Listen, Nelson, I have somethin’ to tell you,
you’re not retarded anymore.”
“You mean I’m cured?”
“No! No, no. Nah, we’re not even working on it.